7/29 — My Right People

The concept of finding your Right People has been talked about elsewhere, far better than I can manage — I refer you to the lovely Catherine of Cash and Joy, and her discourses on the subject, for a really good primer. I’m not gonna talk about how to find your Right People, or why it’s important to do so, because wow, has that been done.

I’ve been gently reminded, though, that it’s time for me to figure out who they are — who you areand, as @MeganMonique gently put it, “Call your tribe TO you. They are out there waiting to hear your howls.”

…funnily enough I have been known to howl at the moon. So that’s the first way you know you’re part of my Right People — we’ll sing to the moon without letting shame or the neighbors shut us up.

We’re hippies and free thinkers. We’re whatever the hell religion or lack of same works for us, and we’re cool with everyone else who works the same way — I don’t care if you’re Christian, Pagan, Buddhist, Baha’i, militant atheist, whateverthehell; does it work for you? Are you happy? Are you not going out and trying to tell everyone else they’re wrong and you’re right? Good. You’re us and I’m you.

We’re looking at society and thinking it stinks. It’s too filled with people trying to run each others’ lives, people trying to control other people, people trying to separate themselves from ‘them’ (whoever ‘them’ is at the moment). We know that no matter who ‘they’ are, they’re still ‘us’. That it’s ‘we’.

We don’t think we have all the answers to what comes next. We have some ideas. Chances are some of them will work. Chances are some won’t. We’re cool with that. It’s okay to be wrong because it happens some. If it plain ain’t working, we’ll let go and try something else, instead of clinging to what is just because it’s easy and comfortable.

We don’t go to work every day because ‘that’s what you do’. We don’t work in cubicle hell because we don’t see a choice. We don’t work at Walmart and think that’s Just Fine. (We might be in cubicle hell or Walmart hell cos that happens sometimes, but we’re working on it.)

Whatever the issue at hand is, we’re working on it. We’re not claiming we’re perfect, or that we’ve got all the answers, or that anyone else does or should, either. We’re not claiming that ‘all you have to do is X and it’ll all be okay’. Yeah, X is pretty good, and it’ll help, and sometimes it just comes to you and sometimes you have to work at it, and that’s cool. But we’re working on it.

We’re not claiming to be perfect, but we’re not gonna say we’re horrible or flawed or fucked-up and can only be saved by X, either. We are worthy. We are beautiful. We are awesome. We don’t need to be saved from ourselves and we don’t need some external force, be it God or the government or the guru of the week, to come in an ‘save’ us from ourselves. We’re doing pretty well already thank you.

But we’re not trying to do it on our own, either. We ask for help when we need it. We offer help when someone looks like they could use some. No obligation either way. It’s just how you do things.

We don’t need much. Things, money, space, whatever, we don’t need a pile of em to feel good about ourselves. It’s not about ‘stuff’ or how big your TV is or the square footage of your house. Stuff can be kinda cool, don’t get me wrong, but it ain’t the whole goal.

Some of us have kids. Some of us don’t. That’s cool. We don’t hate kids for being kids, and we don’t edge away from people who don’t want them like they’re diseased, cos that’s a pretty personal choice, yo. Those of us with kids raise them to be the best whoever-they-are, and we don’t assume we know who they are, cos they’re them, they’re not us-born-again, they’re not our second chance, they’re themselves.

We dance. We jump in puddles. We play with Legos and blow bubbles and pick flowers. We don’t really care if they neighbors look at us funny (though we tend to find it pretty amusing). We don’t care if what we wear is ‘fashionable’ or ‘flattering’ or if it ‘suits us’. We wear pretty cool clothing, though. It’s just our own damn definition of cool.

We exercise because we love it, not because we want to fit in with some external definition of ‘enough’. We eat healthy, tasty food because it’s healthy and tasty, not because we want to wedge our bodies to fit into some artificial number. Sometimes we eat a whole bag of potato chips. Some of eat meat, some of us don’t, some of us eat only raw food, some of us eat Chef Boyardee food out of a can. We don’t give each other shit over what we eat (though we share recipes around like mad).

We don’t feel bad if we don’t quite manage any of the above, cos we’re all human, and we all screw up sometimes. That’s just how it goes. We forgive ourselves if we feel forgiveness is necessary. If we don’t feel like forgiveness is necessary, that’s cool too.

We love ourselves. We love each other. We love the whole. Damn. World. Cos you know what? We’re all in this together. We’re all human. We all do dumb shit. Yes, even people who aren’t our ‘right people’. Which is most people, no matter who your ‘right people’ are.

Are you my ‘right people’? I know you’re out there. I’m howling for you. I’m singing to the moon. Come sing with me. Come run and blow bubbles and eat potato chips and homemade hummus and sushi and raw vegan paleo food. Come be. Come to me.

Come howl with me.

32 Comments on “7/29 — My Right People”

  1. Man, sweetie, I miss you!

    Kass on 29 Jul 2011, 2:06 pm (Link | Reply)

    • It has perhaps been too long, my dear. :)

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 2:08 pm (Link | Reply)

  2. Woof. and you know it.

    DwenjustDwen on 29 Jul 2011, 2:25 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Owooooooooo!

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 2:27 pm (Link | Reply)

  3. I’ll be wherever the dancing, legos, and hummus are!!!!!!!

    Alic on 29 Jul 2011, 3:30 pm (Link | Reply)

    • And you’re welcome along with the rest of us!

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 4:19 pm (Link | Reply)

  4. Hell yes! I’m there! (And we really need to meet in Meatspace sometime :) )

    Kitrona on 29 Jul 2011, 4:47 pm (Link | Reply)

    • I knew you were, my dear! And yes, we do. :)

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 6:09 pm (Link | Reply)

  5. Very inspiring, thank you!

    TracyJ on 29 Jul 2011, 5:13 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Thank _you_ Tracy!

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 6:09 pm (Link | Reply)

  6. Love it! Love YOU! And I make a mean salsa and delicious cake, so I will bring that to the lego dancing puddle jumping party- where my feet and skirt will be wet and muddy and I won’t care- ‘cept to take care not to dirty your home! {can my kids come too? }

    Diana on 29 Jul 2011, 7:18 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Homemade salsa makes me a _very_ happy Kate. Just make mine at wussy-spice level and it’ll all be good.

      Bring the kids along! Loiosh loves em. (Chocolate will hide, but he does that anyway.)

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 8:06 pm (Link | Reply)

  7. And we are unique! If there are people who can’t take that uniqueness in stride, they need to take notes! We have the jive, the beat and the will to enjoy life!

    Regina on 29 Jul 2011, 8:16 pm (Link | Reply)

    • And we dance to it!

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 8:17 pm (Link | Reply)

  8. Gathering? Where and when pray tell?

    Loch on 29 Jul 2011, 9:20 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Alas, it must be a virtual one — my Right People are spread all around the world!

      Kate on 29 Jul 2011, 9:21 pm (Link | Reply)

  9. Many much loves for the Kate-chan.

    Waya on 30 Jul 2011, 3:03 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Thank you sweetness. :)

      Kate on 30 Jul 2011, 3:13 pm (Link | Reply)

  10. ” We are worthy. We are beautiful. We are awesome” & “We dance.”

    I love it!! All of it!! And so want to be in :)

    So happy to see this post and your new sites… and your products look so luscious… hope to get some on my skin soon. ;)


    Bahieh K. on 31 Jul 2011, 7:49 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Thank you my dear! I’m slightly smug about it all myself. And of course you can join the dance!

      I’ve never shipped to Ecuador! That would be awesome. (I did ship to Malaysia once, which was also awesome.)

      Kate on 31 Jul 2011, 7:58 pm (Link | Reply)

  11. LOVE THIS POST. I found it inspirational. For real.

    Madhu on 1 Aug 2011, 4:04 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Yay! I’m glad. You’re definitely one of my Right People, Madhu.

      Kate on 1 Aug 2011, 4:05 pm (Link | Reply)

      • Aw shucks. Thanks Kate, and right back atcha.

        Madhu on 5 Aug 2011, 11:23 am (Link | Reply)

  12. I have regained civilization I have bathed in Kephi twice today. (Okay, it was hot and it was my birthday.)


    Regina and the critters

    Regina on 2 Aug 2011, 3:15 am (Link | Reply)

    • An excellent choice. I have done the same myself more than once recently.

      Kate on 2 Aug 2011, 9:48 am (Link | Reply)

  13. Oh if it’s a virtual partay then I can’t be late!

    …howling at the moon in Australia…

    And thanks for the links to the Right People stuff. It’s something that’s been in my heart lately. I live in a great place, with great community, but my Right People? Still to be found.

    tamara on 25 Oct 2011, 7:05 am (Link | Reply)

    • Welcome Tamara! Howling right along with you.

      Kate on 25 Oct 2011, 9:59 am (Link | Reply)

  14. Especially with the help of a dear friend’s “wolf elixir” (hair of the wolf + quartz crystal + a touch of alcohol) we’ve howled at the moon on many an occasion. Our “Tribe” expands!

    Joan on 30 Jan 2012, 1:16 pm (Link | Reply)

    • Owoooooooooo!

      Kate on 30 Jan 2012, 1:21 pm (Link | Reply)

  15. That was awesome….would love to meet and hang out sometime with your pack :-)

    Wendy on 4 Jun 2012, 1:34 pm (Link | Reply)

  16. Nice Post! Looking forward to trying the bath oil…

    JW on 11 Jul 2012, 9:50 pm (Link | Reply)

    • The kyphi is my favourite, I’ll admit. Thank you for your order, and for your kind words!

      Kate on 12 Jul 2012, 11:13 am (Link | Reply)

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