7/29 — My Right People
The concept of finding your Right People has been talked about elsewhere, far better than I can manage — I refer you to the lovely Catherine of Cash and Joy, and her discourses on the subject, for a really good primer. I’m not gonna talk about how to find your Right People, or why it’s important to do so, because wow, has that been done.
I’ve been gently reminded, though, that it’s time for me to figure out who they are — who you are — and, as @MeganMonique gently put it, “Call your tribe TO you. They are out there waiting to hear your howls.”
…funnily enough I have been known to howl at the moon. So that’s the first way you know you’re part of my Right People — we’ll sing to the moon without letting shame or the neighbors shut us up.
We’re hippies and free thinkers. We’re whatever the hell religion or lack of same works for us, and we’re cool with everyone else who works the same way — I don’t care if you’re Christian, Pagan, Buddhist, Baha’i, militant atheist, whateverthehell; does it work for you? Are you happy? Are you not going out and trying to tell everyone else they’re wrong and you’re right? Good. You’re us and I’m you.
We’re looking at society and thinking it stinks. It’s too filled with people trying to run each others’ lives, people trying to control other people, people trying to separate themselves from ‘them’ (whoever ‘them’ is at the moment). We know that no matter who ‘they’ are, they’re still ‘us’. That it’s ‘we’.
We don’t think we have all the answers to what comes next. We have some ideas. Chances are some of them will work. Chances are some won’t. We’re cool with that. It’s okay to be wrong because it happens some. If it plain ain’t working, we’ll let go and try something else, instead of clinging to what is just because it’s easy and comfortable.
We don’t go to work every day because ‘that’s what you do’. We don’t work in cubicle hell because we don’t see a choice. We don’t work at Walmart and think that’s Just Fine. (We might be in cubicle hell or Walmart hell cos that happens sometimes, but we’re working on it.)
Whatever the issue at hand is, we’re working on it. We’re not claiming we’re perfect, or that we’ve got all the answers, or that anyone else does or should, either. We’re not claiming that ‘all you have to do is X and it’ll all be okay’. Yeah, X is pretty good, and it’ll help, and sometimes it just comes to you and sometimes you have to work at it, and that’s cool. But we’re working on it.
We’re not claiming to be perfect, but we’re not gonna say we’re horrible or flawed or fucked-up and can only be saved by X, either. We are worthy. We are beautiful. We are awesome. We don’t need to be saved from ourselves and we don’t need some external force, be it God or the government or the guru of the week, to come in an ‘save’ us from ourselves. We’re doing pretty well already thank you.
But we’re not trying to do it on our own, either. We ask for help when we need it. We offer help when someone looks like they could use some. No obligation either way. It’s just how you do things.
We don’t need much. Things, money, space, whatever, we don’t need a pile of em to feel good about ourselves. It’s not about ‘stuff’ or how big your TV is or the square footage of your house. Stuff can be kinda cool, don’t get me wrong, but it ain’t the whole goal.
Some of us have kids. Some of us don’t. That’s cool. We don’t hate kids for being kids, and we don’t edge away from people who don’t want them like they’re diseased, cos that’s a pretty personal choice, yo. Those of us with kids raise them to be the best whoever-they-are, and we don’t assume we know who they are, cos they’re them, they’re not us-born-again, they’re not our second chance, they’re themselves.
We dance. We jump in puddles. We play with Legos and blow bubbles and pick flowers. We don’t really care if they neighbors look at us funny (though we tend to find it pretty amusing). We don’t care if what we wear is ‘fashionable’ or ‘flattering’ or if it ‘suits us’. We wear pretty cool clothing, though. It’s just our own damn definition of cool.
We exercise because we love it, not because we want to fit in with some external definition of ‘enough’. We eat healthy, tasty food because it’s healthy and tasty, not because we want to wedge our bodies to fit into some artificial number. Sometimes we eat a whole bag of potato chips. Some of eat meat, some of us don’t, some of us eat only raw food, some of us eat Chef Boyardee food out of a can. We don’t give each other shit over what we eat (though we share recipes around like mad).
We don’t feel bad if we don’t quite manage any of the above, cos we’re all human, and we all screw up sometimes. That’s just how it goes. We forgive ourselves if we feel forgiveness is necessary. If we don’t feel like forgiveness is necessary, that’s cool too.
We love ourselves. We love each other. We love the whole. Damn. World. Cos you know what? We’re all in this together. We’re all human. We all do dumb shit. Yes, even people who aren’t our ‘right people’. Which is most people, no matter who your ‘right people’ are.
Are you my ‘right people’? I know you’re out there. I’m howling for you. I’m singing to the moon. Come sing with me. Come run and blow bubbles and eat potato chips and homemade hummus and sushi and raw vegan paleo food. Come be. Come to me.
Come howl with me.