3/18 — Finding My Voice
It might surprise some of you, considering you seem to find some of my item descriptions to be pretty good, that I actually hate the vast majority of them. HATE WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS.
I’ve tried over the years to get better at writing the things — after all, y’all can’t smell my stuff online, so I have to lure you in somehow. No matter what I’ve done, though, they feel stilted and clumsy and…well, market-speak-ey. Kinda like my awful old slogan which I am SO GLAD to be rid of.
I think I’m finally getting the hang of them, though, in the hours and hours I’ve spent working on the website in the past month or two. In amidst the tag-fixing and the picture-redoing and the making-sure-the-ingredients-are-listed-right-AGAIN(-ing?) I also took some time to fix the SEO — for those of you who don’t know what that is, it helps search engines find me, and also it determines what shows up in the Google search. Witness here:
These used to be…honestly I don’t even remember what they used to be, other than ‘laden with keywords’ and also ‘clunky and way too long’. But now I’m happy with them; they’re short, snappy, and smartassed, and the latter, especially, is much more me than some variant on Natural, handmade, shea butter soap with the refreshing scents of peppermint and orange. Only they were mostly even worse than that.
I’m gearing up to start rewriting the actual item descriptions soon — probably this week, unless my brain shuts off again; always possible — and I think possibly, maybe, this time I’ll manage to make them not suck. I have already forbidden myself from using the words ‘luxury’, ‘moisturizing’, and ‘refreshing’, and any variants thereof. And any time I catch myself thinking Can’t say that, it’ll piss someone off* I’m just gonna keep typing because anyone who’s not happy with the way I write…well, they’re not so much my Right People, are they?
* UNLESS I say something ignorant and privileged, in which case y’all are welcome to call my ass on it, and I’ll change it. But if you’re gonna get het up just because I said ‘ass’, we’re probably best off admiring each other from a distance**.
** Admiring each other from a distance: Phrase stolen without shame from one of my favourite blogs. Fair warning: There’s cussing. Also, funny. Also, frightening amounts of cleaning.